I, Mike Bulmer, of San Francisco, California, remove my former Wills and Codicils and declare this to be my Last Will and Testament.
If you're reading this, then I may have left this mortal coil. Or you just have a morbid fascination with dead people. Either way, it's likely I will not make it to die of old age - there are just so many more exciting things out there to kill you. So I made this.
It is my desire to have my remains (fully intact) be shot into the sun. I do not wish to be cremated as the unfathomable heat from the sun will take care of that for me. Might as well save a few bucks by not doing it beforehand.
Should the technology, funding, or scheduling for a one-way trip to the sun be unavailable at the moment of my death, I wish to be cremated along with a cassette tape of Talking Heads' Stop Making Sense album, then have the ashes crushed into an artificial diamond. The diamond is to then be pawned and resold, where my spirit will haunt the wearer by making the space bar on their computer intermittently fail to work.
You can't have my stuff unless you call dibs on it first. A handful of items have already been pre-designated:
- All my dogecoin mining equipment and WiiU stuff, including TV - Mike Skalnik (@skalnik)
- The full balance of my Dogecoin wallet - Slava Shirokov (@sshirokov)
- All computer hardware - Drew Oliner (@Drewzar)
- All illigitimate and useless Federal Reserve Notes and related securities and holdings - Slava Shirokov (@sshirokov)
- Collection of vintage knock-knock joke books - Evan DeLaney(@evandelaney)
If you wish to claim one of my belongings, or if you think I missed something, please submit a pull request.